How I lost my sister to violent marriage
My kid sister by name Chioma who leaved with me introduced a guy to me, she said she loves him and would want to spend the rest of her life with him. The man in question is a medical doctor by profession but for some reasons I was not very comfortable with the relationship. I perceived this guy was confrontational and I advised/persuaded my sister to let go but she won’t. After some time I found out that my sister was pregnant and as the culture permit she had to get married to the man that got her pregnant.
I was not very excited with the development and I staged my protest and this raised a strong conflict between us but what can I do? I had to support my sister with her wedding. He was wonderful for the first 3 months, but then he changed and became very controlling.
He didn’t allow her to talk with friends freely, and would throw things at her and break things if she talk about family.
He will always hit my sister, on one occasion she was bedridden for 2 days from this and made excuses to people about how she was injured I pleaded with her to tell me what was going on and she opened up and told me things like“He pulled a knife and stabbed my bedding, threatened me with objects, drove the car at high speeds with me in it – and always, always it was my fault”.
I blamed my sister and ask her to back out but she won’t listen. This violence continued for about 6 years and she lost two babies to it, she won’t come out in public or visit her siblings because she doesn’t want anyone to know what she was going through.
We lost our father and the burial arrangement was on and this compelled her to come to my house to be part of the arrangement at that time myself and other sibling shaded tears because of the way our sister was lookingwaisted. We agreed to fly her out of the country after the burial for her to receive some fresh air in a new environment. She traveled back home on that faithful day only for me to get a call in the middle of the night from a stranger telling me my sister was in the mortuary.
How I coped
Well my sister suffered even at death because the man took away the kids and my sister was practically buried in a shallow grave in a bush be the guy happened to be and outcast in his home town (OSU). I was being too protective of my sister initially and she was not happy with that so I had to back out.
How the situation changed
We shout her out because she won’t let us in and when eventually we decided to step in it was too late.
What I would say to others
Get out before it is too late. I can’t help but to feel guilty that I didn’t get her off or listen to her enough.